Bustle In My Hedgerow

from by Air Station

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On a cold winter's night
I was asleep in my bed
When I was awoken by a horrible sound
It was a bustle in my hedgerow
And I was alarmed

I turned on the lights
And I put on me shoes
And I put on me robe
And I went outside to see
Just what it was
What was this noise
Disturbing my sleep
Pissing me off
I got my gun
To shoot whatever it was
Making this noise
Waking me up
Don't you know I've got to work in the morning

Don't be afraid
I am a friend
Please do not shoot me
I'll give you money
I want to be friends
Take off that robe
Let's get to know
Each other like they did in the Bible

Well, I don't know
Are you friendly or foe
This bustle in my hedgerow
If you really are a friend
Why were you hiding then
This bustle in my hedgerim

You'll have to catch me if you want me to talk
But if you shoot me, you'll be out of luck
Oh, by the way, I stole the keys to your car
And all your floorgum, you won't get too far
Unless you come and play

And where is it now
This bustle in my hedgerow
I'd better go find it

Out the back door
And down the steps
Into the yard, man
Past the lawn gnomes
He will catch him
This bustle annoys him
He wants his keys

Into the garden
Stepping on tomatoes
He stubbed his toe
And he fell into the stream
That motherfucker
He's going to kill it
Now he's really mad

He brushed himself off
And retied his shoe
The bustle is laughing
Where is it coming from
He should have brought his flashlight
'Cause it's really dark out here
Look out
It's right in front of you

That was a super fight
He caught the bustle
The bustle took off his robe
And ran away laughing
Into the night
Now he is naked
No keys, no robe, no floorgum
Now he's really fucked
Here come the cops

I had a row with the bustle
I'm sittin' here in jail
Public indecency charge
I tell you what, this place is worse than Hell

I've been here for three weeks
They serve us gruel for tea
I'd rather be at the pub
Just a pint, me bird, Beth, and me
Seems when they put me in here
They threw away the key
I wonder when the judge
Is gonna come and hear my plea

Blow your harmonica, son

Finally, I'll be able to prove I was right
And I should get to go home tonight
And start to forget this whole ordeal
What the fuck, who's that judge, is this for real?

You've been brought here by the order of the court
Everybody sit down
Hey, now, I must retort
You're the one who caused this all to begin with
That certainly is a weird strategy to try to win with
If you think you're ever going to be set free
I would highly recommend that you don't diss me
Well, bustle, bro, I really think this is a conflict
Of interest that you could be the one to inflict
The punishment for the crime you caused me to commit
Hey, I don't like your attitude one little bit
How dare you come to my court and try to accuse
Me of things that I would never ever ever do
It's up to you, jail time or just a ticket
But in the meantime, hear the drummer get wicked

After that sweet drum break, I'm quite content
To hear the case you wish to present
Well, dawg, I was just laying in bed watching it snow
When I heard a crazy sound just outside my window
I went outside to see what it was
And it was you, who apparently now is the judge
You stole my possessions and you left me nude
Excuse me, defendant, but you're being quite rude
I've tried thus far to be a good sport
But don't forget you're a subject in my court
I've sat here listening to your crummy defense
And now I think it's time I pass sentence
Your constant accusations have made me quite cross
And once again my gain is going to be your loss
Hearing this nonsense has made me feel quite mean
I could sentence you to die in a guillotine
Or I could bust a cap in your ass with my gat
I think I could really enjoy that
But because this fucking beat is so dope
I sentence you to death by being hung with a rope


from DIX, released August 4, 2014



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